// Thursday, July 28
"a heaving heart is full of pain"life is not perfect, i know. and sometimes when you try to make everything seem normal, it just becomes crazier. i try not to dwell on upsetting thoughts. but lately, it comes back to me over and over again, more and more times again. and it never fails to overwhelm me. and on this emotional roller-coaster ride, i realised im not a happy girl. it sucks having to try over n over again. being someone that you can't be. being the perfect daughter, lover, friend, student.. and worse of all, being that perfect person you desperately want to be. i feel i'm changing. changing into someone i don't know. i don't know much about myself anymore. i do things routinely everyday, just to make things seem normal, to make it seem like nothing has changed. i try to recall how i used to be like, to have friends whom i know so well around me all the time. i try to remember how i used to joke and laugh. and time and time again, i remind myself to be how i used to be. but things just turn out worse. im beginning to forget all these memories.. i can't seem to remember them the more i try. im losing everything.. even myself. and i don't think anyone can help me, other than myself. but where do i even begin..?
scripted at 10:01 PM
