// Monday, May 8
An Ode to my Brothers.
for the past week, Sheldon has been living with us.
and i couldn't be happier to have him at home.
although there were times when i felt that all was one-sided, i was wrong.
on the night before he went back to America, he said he wanted to spend time with me.
(well of course, being the cool, oldest brother he is, he didn't exactly say he wanted to spend time with me. instead he said "i wanna hang out with you." :D)
so Sheldon, Derick and I, and few other friends went to Zouk that night.
and it being my first time going to Zouk, i felt so lucky to have both my brothers accompanying me.
i know most girls who have older brothers, have their brothers to watch over them and to take care of them.
to joke with them, to play with them, to irritate them, to guide them.
but i never had such chances when i was growing up.
my brothers are 14 and 11 years older them me, respectively.
and Sheldon left Singapore when i was 1 years old.
there were so little memories of us playing together (almost close to naught)
and only a handful of 'em with Derick.
i always looked up to them, and i think i have mentioned it before in my previous entry.
but this time around when Sheldon came back, and we went to Zouk together,
i don't know.
maybe because i'm 18 now, and our interests are more or less in the same wavelength,
and we can do things that we all enjoy doing together,
that makes me feel closer to my 2 brothers for once, after a very long time.
no matter our differences, our arguments, our heated debates and fights,
i know we love each other.
and for the first time, when Sheldon hugged me before he left,
i felt like crying.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you too," i said.
maybe it was because Sheldon and i worry over the same reason, and care for the same person so much that it hurts, that brought our hearts together for that moment.
Derick is always our brother,
and sometimes saying those 3 words to him is so hard.
but somehow, Derick brought tears to my eyes too, when i saw him play his guitar for our family friends during dinner.
i admire his courage and non-existing self-consciousness;
to play and sing with all his heart and soul, even if he wasn't the bestest singer or guitarist around.
i wish i could be like him when i dance, to set my heart free.
i felt so proud of him when he sang his own songs.
and i wish he knew that i still look up to him, very much.
but all in all, i wish my 2 brothers well.
for their lives ahead are even in a darker gray than mine.
i wish someday, we will all be able to talk and speak our mind, and hold all kinds of conversations, without having to hurt each other.
i love my brothers.
and i know under all that coolness and pride, they love me very much too. :)
oh! and Sheldon bought me this really really nice heart-shaped necklace. :)
ok. it's a little small.. but it is still visible right? it's really pretty!
i am one happy girl. :)
scripted at 10:51 PM
