// Sunday, October 8
having limited internet access has made me realise how dependent i am on it. my only true source of entertainment is in the hands of the internet. its amazing how the world wide web has interwoven into our lives and make itself indispensable. really.. tsk.
that aside, i must say this period is extremely gruelling for anyone who's taking his As out there, and especially for those who weren't accustomed to sitting still for 6 hours at least, studying, revising, practising.. we've been cursing the system, doubting our capacity, wishing for it to end since months ago. but what the hell, we're still stuck in this period. yes, although we're closer to the end, but it still doesn't eliminate the feeling of eternity while we survive through each day. the guilt we feel when our hands refuse to pick up our pens, the frustration of not being disciplined, the desire to be free.. never had i felt such a rollercoaster ride while going through an exam period. oh how the As destroy our lives..
even though the people around me continue to encourage me and tell me i can make it, being realistic to myself, i know i won't do well. who am i to kid? i got OEE for prelims. and don't forget, i'm not in a school with very high standards. but nonetheless, i will try. i'll still go through the whole torment just to get it over and done with. but don't mistake my words, i don't mean to be optimistic. i've just come to a point where there's nothing left to do other than to study. not study hard. but just study. with 30 days left in my hands, really, there's no point in cursing, doubting, wishing. just study. whether i'll get good grades? well, i know i won't get fantastic grades for sure, it's just a matter of how bad it'll be. but with this state of mind, i'm more than willing to leave this worry to next year february. so good luck to me, and to all of those who feel the same way.
and just to end with a happier note. my room is gorgeous! it's not entirely furnished yet, but i'll fill my room up eventually. i've already a list in mind of the things i need to get for my room. goodness, can't wait to shop after the As! alright, here's a picture of one side of my room. the studying area's still a little messy. so yeah.. i can't wait to have the girls over! goodness.. i really really really can't wait! :)))
scripted at 10:41 PM
